A Short Conversation With God

The other day I was relaxing at home when a transformer in the neighborhood failed. There was a sudden silence in my apartment as I sat waiting for the lights to come back on. I started to do what anyone else in that situation does I got out a flashlight, shined it at my entertainment center and proceeded to pretend to watch television.

That was when God appeared. Well, he didn’t actually appear, but I heard a very masculine, deep voice that sounded very friendly.

“Well. Robbie, what have you been thinking about?"

I stifled the inclination to say, ‘Well, you ought to know.’ And gave Him a straight answer.

"I’ve been thinking about our relationship, actually, and I’ve concluded that the only thing that keeps us apart is that I’m in this body.”

“Oh,“ He said, “that’s interesting. Just where in your body are you, do you think?”

I couldn’t really pin that down and I said as much.

“Okay, where is your body, then?’

“I’m sitting in my chair,” I said.

“And just where is that?” He asked.

”In the living room”

”…and that is?”

“..in my apartment.”

So it went. Every time I responded He asked for a more inclusive location:

My apartment is in Orlando..in Florida...the United States..northwest quadraspere…Earth...Solar System...Milky Way...The Universe.

I was getting a little frustrated by then and I knew that I had run out of bigger places.

“What’s your point?” I asked.

Somehow I knew He was smiling. “Well, that proves that the laws of physics are incomplete, doesn’t it? He said.

“How do you come to that conclusion?” I asked.

“It is often said about physical law that something cannot be in more than one place at a time, right?”

“Of course,” I replied.

“But, Robbie, you just told me that you are in all those places right now. Where do you think I am?”

I had the answer.

“Why, you’re in the Universe.” I said.

“Robbie, I am the Universe, so now I ask you again...where are you?”

Just then the lights went on.